Sunday, August 5, 2012

The Tale of Fail: Big Fat Ogres can run... Fast!

Many times when I hit the tables, it's common knowledge in our little LFGS and to the good ol' boys in Red Steel: Los Angeles that my luck with the dice is never good.

However, there are some very rare days that they roll like a bald eagle with it's ass feathers lit on fire. Yesterday, was one of those middle days.  I didn't have to throw any models across the room but we weren't smelling burnt eagle ass feathers either.

I walked into the store and saw my Nemesis for Warhammer Fantasy sitting there, Mr. Filip.  We call him Fil for short but to be fair, he's not really my Nemesis considering everyone I play I consider them as my Nemesis.  That way when I lose, I can scream Khan and say, "Damn you, I will have my revenge". Dramatically I might add.

So it was my Ogres vs his Chaos Warriors.  Oh how I hate his chaos warriors.  The start of the game didn't go too bad.  Good rolls and then some bad rolls all showing their faces on both sides.

Have you ever seen the dice just screw you on one single moment of a game when it decides to not work and pretty much pulls that possible victory from you?  Granted, Chaos Warriors are tough, especially when you decide to go head long into a huge unit of Chaos Knights (I think it was about 12 strong). But hey! 6 Man Eaters and a 9 man (or ogre) iron gut unit with a Slaughtermaster should take them on no problems! Given the fact they were in range of the BSB, no body runs tonight!

This is where the Tale of Fail begins.  I charge in with both units.  No Ogre Charge but still, not too shabby.  I lose 2 Maneaters to his two knights. Ouch! I loose by two CR after it's all said and done. No biggy, good old Maneaters are sporting the special ability Stubborn this game AND they are in range of BSB man and using the inspiring presence from Slaughtermaster big man who is in a unit with a Discipline Banner! LD 10 gives you pretty good odds to make it.

First roll... 11! Thank the gods for BSB aura re-rolls! Another 11... FML!

Really? Why does it seem every time you get to a point in the game where it really matters - where it could be a game changer - that the gaming gods decides to aim their asses at you and let out a big wet fart in your direction? I was smelling stink all the way home that night.

And just for the heck of it, like pulling the legs off a spider, the Gods decides to add little bits of excrement in the poop shoot funneling breeze.  The unit with the Slaughtermaster decides the roll a 10 on a LD test of 10, giving me an almost absolute heart attack.

And to top it all off, they really wanted me to taste what the gaming gods had for breakfast.  The Maneaters turn tail and runs... THROUGH my unit of bulls with the BSB. No big, it never happens twice!  The bulls ween off the inspiring presence from Mr. Slaughtermaster dude in the unit raising that Discipline standard high giving me a LD 10 test! 


When life shits on you, the only right way of handling it is with lots of M&Ms and diet coke. 

Super thanks to Filip for the game and to another win under his belt on me.  It's always a pleasure playing with him and it's especially fun to watch him fidget when I take 15 minutes to move one Sabretusk.  You see, Filip is a man of super action.  He's a wham bam, move that plastic 'mam kinda guy.  So if you ever end up playing him at the Game Ogre, take a long while pretending to think about what you're doing and watch him turn red.  It's pretty damn funny!

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